been a while

Nothing new to post really. I have not seen any symptoms for a while, other than occasional "twisty guts". Went back to work this week and under a lot of stress, so I will see how this effects me. Have added a few more raw fruits/ veggies to my day and cut back on probiotocs because they are so expensive. Now its just wait and see what happens.

Good week. No blood.

Dr K

Saw the doc yesterday. He wants to check my iron again in six months.He was also pleased that my CRP blood test did not show inflammation. He said that means this probably won't spread. Didn't mention the scope thingy, but of course wanted to do a manual check. I said no. I told him I had my period, but I really just didn't want to do it. Cause I didn't want to hear him say there is blood, when I know in my heart it if from the actual test that he just did, but I can't prove it. No more stuff stuck up my butt, because I believe it just irritates the skin and causes more bleeding. That's what it feels like to me.
Anyway, I need to not read the forums so much. I have gotten useful info from them, but there are a lot of horror stories, and they are scary.

never ending

Blood
i saw it
the test showed negative
so now how do i trust the test?
just one more stressful thing

my kids don't believe in God, we've failed as parents to teach them the one important thing
this makes my guts bleed- being good examples don't work, and so called Christians have pushed them away with their judgments
so how do i be happy for the rest of my life knowing this? how do keep this out of my guts? it's like watching your kid smoke, and it tears you up inside
another thing is the in-laws and their conflicts...could she please just call and get this over with?

another thing is money...it seems like every day it gets harder and harder...paycuts, losing my benefits and retirement.. no steps...i think that is what started this
years of fighting for a decent living and getting nowhere
and now this uc is making me spend so much extra on supplements and organic food, not to mention the juicer
my dad is sick
my mom is sick
my dog is old
i hate where we live
our houses are not worth half of what we owe on them

let me go ahead a list good things
my husband
that my health isn't so bad that i can't ride or go to the beach or live my life

Well...

Things have actually been going pretty well. Haven't seen blood in a while. Didn't start the medicine yet. But I did up the VSL to 4 packs day. Really expensive :(
So here is what I have been doing:
1. Diet - Following Dr Furhman's autoimmune protocol for IBD- slowly added back a small amount of fruit and some beans in soup, green juice twice a day
2. supplements-
Gentle Care multivitamin (without vit A or folic acid)
Iron- I'm still low
Zyflamend - anti-inflammatory (turmeric)
High dose EPA (fish oil)- immune suppressant
Four packs of VSL - probiotoc
Primal defense- probiotic
3. fasting- completed one 4.5 day. I plan to do 3-4 days a month

Doing these things has made 99% of my symptoms disappear. I can't say 100% because even though I can't see the blood, it may still be there. Also, I still don't feel "right". It's subtle, and then again, maybe I am just paying too much attention to bathroom events.

still searching

My colon is weird. I don't know whats bothering it, or how to find out, so I can fix it. I feel like the probiotics are helping, but I think I'm still missing something. Maybe over exposure to pesticides due to all of the not-organic produce I eat? I'm going to start buying organic as much as possible. But it's probably too late. What else? I've heard of parasites, c-diff infection, yeast, accutane, stress all as possible causes, when added to a compromised or somehow damaged immune system.I feel like the answer is just out of my grasp, like something you can see out of the corner of your eye, but when you turn to look, its gone. I have to find the cause. I can't just hide this with drugs while the cause is still there making it worse.

Well. I haven't seen any blood for two days. Doesn't mean its not there. If fact, I bet it is. But at least it's less. I wish I could get those test strips the doc has. Can't buy them anywhere on the internet. Amazing...you can buy anything from a diploma to illegal drugs, but you can't buy those freaking test strips they use in the doc's office to check for blood. Next time I am waiting in the office forever, I am going to boost some.

random thoughts

I need to go back to the doctor and get a letter stating that I need iron and probiotics so my Flex dollars will pay for them . The VSL is soooo expensive. I also filled the prescription for the Rowasa, but I changed my mind. It hasn't been 6 months yet, anyway, andI'm not getting any worse, so I don't want to rush to get on drugs. The medicine dosen't fix you anyway, it just hides the problem. Then it may get worse, and you won't even know it. I would rather try the LDN first. I didn't bring it up last time. Stupid me. But I will next time.

:(

blood EACH DAY

well...

I think I'm getting better..without the medicine, yet. I said I was going to give this 6 months and it's been 3 so far. I did fill the prescription for the rowasa, but reading the side effects makes me not want to use it. I'd rather try LDN first if I have to use something.